Dessert Forks & Over-Educated Circus Animals

I love my job. I work with a wonderful group of people that I genuinely enjoy working with and truly like being around. I know, I know… weird huh? But it’s the truth and I refuse to lie about it no matter how much of a freak I may look like for saying it. Don’t get me wrong. I have my days when work is the last place I want to be or at the very least, moments when it’s not my most favorite thing in the whole world just like everyone else. I firmly believe it’s totally normal to have days when you are convinced the most sensible thing to do about the problem at hand is to dig your eye out with a dessert fork… don’t you agree? I mean honestly--shrimp forks are so small it would take way to long to finish the job and dinner forks are so big you'll be done before anyone really gets the full effect. Ok… maybe that’s a little intense or even slightly extreme. We’ve all had days when we’ve wanted to, in theory of course; be the pivotal character in a ‘roadside carnage/train wreck’ type scenario that will make everyone else will stop and look. Again… mildly excessive, but I’m sincerely trying to make a point and I hope you’re getting the message. I bet you’re wondering if those are the days that end with a super-sized knots in your stomach and a headache so severe it would be foolish and completely impossible for anyone to even attempt convincing you that your head is not going to explode at any moment. Yah. They are. I bet you’re also wondering if days like that involve feeling like you’re screaming at the top of your lungs (in plain English of course) an answer that is so painstakingly obvious and clearly staring everyone in the face waving a huge red flag and sporting a Vegas-style sign blaring with absolute clarity like a beacon in the night but no one else can quite put their finger on it. Um… let me think. Yup, sure do. Usually, at some point in time during that last one everyone turns to look at you like, ‘Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?’ This is the part where the fork comes in handy—hold on… I’m almost there. It’s at that moment you realize that your sanity, to be completely frank, is teetering dangerously on the edge of that great black whole of common sense known as Corporate American Politics. You might attempt coming to terms with the fact that no matter how much you like your job or how much you sincerely enjoy having the opportunity to work with people you like being around—you must admit to yourself (and the entire world for it to really count) in an ‘alcoholics anonymous’ kind of way; “Hi. My name is George and I work for over-educated circus animals that make more money than I do but probably couldn’t do my job if their life depended on it.” Once you get it all out you realize after a short pause that the only sensible thing left to do is grab the fork and start digging… now what the heck did I do with that dang fork…