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Happy New Year! Ok, so I'm a little late with the celebratory cheer but that shouldn't surprise anyone who knows me... lol
New Years resolutions are lame. For most of us, we say something like "I'm going to lose 50 lbs this year" and in our minds we really believe that we will. If your single, you believe that this is the first step to changing everything that is wrong with your life. Supposedly it will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. By the way, who decided that "attractive woman" equals a bony size 00 with a shape reminiscent of a standing coat rack? [*Note: Yes, that's an actual size of clothing for adult women. Yes, I sometimes want to feed those girls egg salad sandwiches and lard truffles with a sling shot. Just sayin.] If you find or know the location of said fashion criminal let me know-- because if they're not already dead, they should be shot for poisoning the minds of the general population and I'm perfectly willing to take aim and fire. [P.S. Skinny jeans should be outlawed at the soonest possible moment and violators of said law should be punished to the fullest extent of the law up to and including prison time and even death. No one is attractive in skinny jeans... NO ONE. I don't care who you are, how much you weigh, how tall you are or what you look like... STOP IT.]
As a single person you convince yourself that if you accomplish this holy grail of weight loss you will undoubtedly and automatically have countless members of the opposite sex falling all over your new godlike figure. I mean let's just go ahead and state the obvious here... you're already an AMAZING person with an IRRESISTIBLE personality and a PHENOMENAL sense of humor-- it's just that no one can see ANY of that through the extra weight, be it 5 lbs or 50. It's like fog on a window that just won't rub off. I mean... it's not their fault that they can't see how amazing you are... [Note: everything after 'godlike figure' should be gushing with sarcasm when you say it or it just doesn't have the same effect]
Once upon a time a very close friend of mine, who I've known more than 25 of my 32 years, actually said that to me once, almost verbatim. I'm not even lying... it's too ridiculous to make up. "You know, Liz, you can't really blame guys for not seeing how amazing you are. If you'd loose all that extra weight you've been carrying around for the last 15 years so they can see that you're as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside, you'd have men falling all over you. There's no way they could resist. I've known you long enough to know you're THAT awesome." Really? First: Ru'e! SehKURitee, SEH-kuritee. [for correct pronunciation click here] Second: at the time I was 28, which apparently means I haven't been physically attractive since I was 13 . Third: Just for the record, I'd prefer NOT to be married to a man who needs me to be a size 4 or smaller to find me attractive. The worst part of this ridiculousness is that at the time, I believed him and I would have done anything in my power including "How To" classes for anorexia. Today I can say this: Dear Nameless Longtime Friend (who is OBVIOUSLY male), I can appreciate what you may have been *trying* to say, but you suck at communication. Stop giving advise to broken and lonely women and take a look in the mirror. You're not exactly the trimmed & cut all-star athlete you were 15 years ago and your hypocrisy kind makes me sick. Love, Liz. P.S. I have a dream. And in it, something eats you.
At that point in my life I was in the sunset stage of a very psychologically damaging and emotionally abusive relationship. I was completely desperate to feel real love and attention from someone who valued me as an actually person and wasn't constantly on the lookout for something "better." I was nearly 70 lbs over weight because going out and doing the active things I liked to do that helped me stay in shape caused vile, ridiculous and baseless accusations to be shot at me in rapid fire to which I felt totally defenseless. So I gave them up to avoid conflict and 'keep the peace'. I hated myself, what I'd become and everything about me.
Long story short; In the last 5 years, I have spent thousands of dollars on various diets, exercise programs and medications, both prescribed and OTC to find out that until I fix the inside, the outside really doesn't matter. Until I fix the inside, I won't have the strength or the discipline to maintain the outside the way I want to be able to maintain it. And so, this year is about the inside. I'm going to do the things I want to do because I want to do them, not because I think it will make me more attractive to the opposite sex or cause men to fall all over me and beg for me to become a part of their life. This is my life. This is my time. This is my year to discover what it is that makes me tick.
The moral of this story is that I have decided that this year will be different. Different means accomplishing the goals I set. Different means having a purpose. Different means stepping out of my box. Different means getting UNcomfortable enough to make things change. Different means focused. I have a lot to accomplish this year and I'm already 3 days late in getting started... my hope in sharing this here is that you will cheer for me when I'm successful, encourage me when I struggle and kick me when I need to get back on track.
If it all happens the way I'm hoping, it's gonna be busy, awesome and TOTALLY EPIC.
To Do List for 2012:
January:
* Establish healthy habits relating to food, money, writing and spirituality
* Be fanatical about said new habits!
* Buy/barter/create/build additional seating for the living room
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
* Enroll in Culinary Arts pre-req classes at UVU
February:
* Sign contracts with 2 roommates
* Trip to Jax for the Highland Games
* Spend at least 2 days at Universal Studios (Harry Potter!) while in Florida
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
March:
* Start learning Italian
* Trip to Jax for Mark & Brittany's wedding
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
* Start Pampered Chef business with my tax return money???
April:
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
May:
* Visit the Mama, Daddy & Jr at the farm in Texas
* Have $5,000 in savings
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
June:
* Trip to Michigan to see Chris, Heather, Shanon & Jaydan
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
July:
* Be financially able to completely furnish & decorate the theater room
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
August:
* Have $8,000 in savings
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
September:
* Trip to England to visit Joel & Jess and Gilbert & Kath
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
October:
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
November:
* Trip to India for Divya's wedding
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
* Buy a REAL Christmas tree
* Allow Christmas to throw up at my house, because I can
December:
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
So... that's the list so far... is it just me or is there a clear pattern relating to food, fun and travel? Coincidence? Probably not. ;o) I'm thinking those things are definitely a huge part of who I am. Never forget the truth of this: Tutte le cose sono possibili. Il potere è mio.
Ready... And... GO!
New Years resolutions are lame. For most of us, we say something like "I'm going to lose 50 lbs this year" and in our minds we really believe that we will. If your single, you believe that this is the first step to changing everything that is wrong with your life. Supposedly it will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. By the way, who decided that "attractive woman" equals a bony size 00 with a shape reminiscent of a standing coat rack? [*Note: Yes, that's an actual size of clothing for adult women. Yes, I sometimes want to feed those girls egg salad sandwiches and lard truffles with a sling shot. Just sayin.] If you find or know the location of said fashion criminal let me know-- because if they're not already dead, they should be shot for poisoning the minds of the general population and I'm perfectly willing to take aim and fire. [P.S. Skinny jeans should be outlawed at the soonest possible moment and violators of said law should be punished to the fullest extent of the law up to and including prison time and even death. No one is attractive in skinny jeans... NO ONE. I don't care who you are, how much you weigh, how tall you are or what you look like... STOP IT.]
As a single person you convince yourself that if you accomplish this holy grail of weight loss you will undoubtedly and automatically have countless members of the opposite sex falling all over your new godlike figure. I mean let's just go ahead and state the obvious here... you're already an AMAZING person with an IRRESISTIBLE personality and a PHENOMENAL sense of humor-- it's just that no one can see ANY of that through the extra weight, be it 5 lbs or 50. It's like fog on a window that just won't rub off. I mean... it's not their fault that they can't see how amazing you are... [Note: everything after 'godlike figure' should be gushing with sarcasm when you say it or it just doesn't have the same effect]
Once upon a time a very close friend of mine, who I've known more than 25 of my 32 years, actually said that to me once, almost verbatim. I'm not even lying... it's too ridiculous to make up. "You know, Liz, you can't really blame guys for not seeing how amazing you are. If you'd loose all that extra weight you've been carrying around for the last 15 years so they can see that you're as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside, you'd have men falling all over you. There's no way they could resist. I've known you long enough to know you're THAT awesome." Really? First: Ru'e! SehKURitee, SEH-kuritee. [for correct pronunciation click here] Second: at the time I was 28, which apparently means I haven't been physically attractive since I was 13 . Third: Just for the record, I'd prefer NOT to be married to a man who needs me to be a size 4 or smaller to find me attractive. The worst part of this ridiculousness is that at the time, I believed him and I would have done anything in my power including "How To" classes for anorexia. Today I can say this: Dear Nameless Longtime Friend (who is OBVIOUSLY male), I can appreciate what you may have been *trying* to say, but you suck at communication. Stop giving advise to broken and lonely women and take a look in the mirror. You're not exactly the trimmed & cut all-star athlete you were 15 years ago and your hypocrisy kind makes me sick. Love, Liz. P.S. I have a dream. And in it, something eats you.
At that point in my life I was in the sunset stage of a very psychologically damaging and emotionally abusive relationship. I was completely desperate to feel real love and attention from someone who valued me as an actually person and wasn't constantly on the lookout for something "better." I was nearly 70 lbs over weight because going out and doing the active things I liked to do that helped me stay in shape caused vile, ridiculous and baseless accusations to be shot at me in rapid fire to which I felt totally defenseless. So I gave them up to avoid conflict and 'keep the peace'. I hated myself, what I'd become and everything about me.
Long story short; In the last 5 years, I have spent thousands of dollars on various diets, exercise programs and medications, both prescribed and OTC to find out that until I fix the inside, the outside really doesn't matter. Until I fix the inside, I won't have the strength or the discipline to maintain the outside the way I want to be able to maintain it. And so, this year is about the inside. I'm going to do the things I want to do because I want to do them, not because I think it will make me more attractive to the opposite sex or cause men to fall all over me and beg for me to become a part of their life. This is my life. This is my time. This is my year to discover what it is that makes me tick.
The moral of this story is that I have decided that this year will be different. Different means accomplishing the goals I set. Different means having a purpose. Different means stepping out of my box. Different means getting UNcomfortable enough to make things change. Different means focused. I have a lot to accomplish this year and I'm already 3 days late in getting started... my hope in sharing this here is that you will cheer for me when I'm successful, encourage me when I struggle and kick me when I need to get back on track.
If it all happens the way I'm hoping, it's gonna be busy, awesome and TOTALLY EPIC.
To Do List for 2012:
January:
* Establish healthy habits relating to food, money, writing and spirituality
* Be fanatical about said new habits!
* Buy/barter/create/build additional seating for the living room
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
* Enroll in Culinary Arts pre-req classes at UVU
February:
* Sign contracts with 2 roommates
* Trip to Jax for the Highland Games
* Spend at least 2 days at Universal Studios (Harry Potter!) while in Florida
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
March:
* Start learning Italian
* Trip to Jax for Mark & Brittany's wedding
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
* Start Pampered Chef business with my tax return money???
April:
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
May:
* Visit the Mama, Daddy & Jr at the farm in Texas
* Have $5,000 in savings
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
June:
* Trip to Michigan to see Chris, Heather, Shanon & Jaydan
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
July:
* Be financially able to completely furnish & decorate the theater room
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
August:
* Have $8,000 in savings
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
September:
* Trip to England to visit Joel & Jess and Gilbert & Kath
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
October:
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
November:
* Trip to India for Divya's wedding
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
* Buy a REAL Christmas tree
* Allow Christmas to throw up at my house, because I can
December:
* Schedule at least 2 dinner parties at my house
So... that's the list so far... is it just me or is there a clear pattern relating to food, fun and travel? Coincidence? Probably not. ;o) I'm thinking those things are definitely a huge part of who I am. Never forget the truth of this: Tutte le cose sono possibili. Il potere è mio.
Ready... And... GO!
