Old-fashioned

I used to believe there was someone out there to share my life with. An individual who will fill in the blanks for me and let me do the same for them. Someone who won’t have any reservations about living life to the fullest and will allow me be a part of the fun that comes along with the ride. Someone who understands and accepts themselves for who they are and will accept all of me for who I am; including my need for occasional overindulgence and special treatment simply because it makes me feel good. Someone who doesn’t think it’s weird to be monogamous. Someone who will wake up next to a beautiful woman 65 years from now and finds her as sexy and irresistible on that day as the day he married her. A person who won’t find anything strange or out of the ordinary in my absolute joy at spending an afternoon with Bogey & Bergman in Casablanca or with Rogers & Hammerstein at the State Fair. Someone who will share in my childlike wide-eyed giddyness of seeing new things and new places and still enjoy repeating a few of the old favorites every now and then. Someone who will not only enjoy but look forward to seeing my family and spending time with them. Someone who will be able to understand and respect the close relationships I have with old friends and not be jealous of those bonding friendships that have developed over many years of good and bad times that we've shared and supported eachother through. I used to believe there was such a thing as loving unconditionally and being faithful to your partner regardless of the temptations you are presented with. As I get older I realize more and more that all of those ideas are very old fashioned and in many regards completely non-existent. I have come to the determination that I am very much a part of the wrong generation. Today life is about doing more, getting more, taking more, having more, being more, and doing it all faster and more outrageous than the last guy did. We as a society have completely lost touch with what it means to truly be content with ourselves and live within our means. That’s just so sad… it takes all the fun out of living life when you can't or don't appreciate what you have and aren't truly grateful for it. It means that you are taking the time you have with those you love for granted. I still have hope… he's out there somewhere with his dancing shoes ready for a night on the town. Maybe he's waiting somewhere on the sidelines to gallop in on a white horse and save me from myself. I just want the damn fairy tale... is that so much to ask?

Dessert Forks & Over-Educated Circus Animals

I love my job. I work with a wonderful group of people that I genuinely enjoy working with and truly like being around. I know, I know… weird huh? But it’s the truth and I refuse to lie about it no matter how much of a freak I may look like for saying it. Don’t get me wrong. I have my days when work is the last place I want to be or at the very least, moments when it’s not my most favorite thing in the whole world just like everyone else. I firmly believe it’s totally normal to have days when you are convinced the most sensible thing to do about the problem at hand is to dig your eye out with a dessert fork… don’t you agree? I mean honestly--shrimp forks are so small it would take way to long to finish the job and dinner forks are so big you'll be done before anyone really gets the full effect. Ok… maybe that’s a little intense or even slightly extreme. We’ve all had days when we’ve wanted to, in theory of course; be the pivotal character in a ‘roadside carnage/train wreck’ type scenario that will make everyone else will stop and look. Again… mildly excessive, but I’m sincerely trying to make a point and I hope you’re getting the message. I bet you’re wondering if those are the days that end with a super-sized knots in your stomach and a headache so severe it would be foolish and completely impossible for anyone to even attempt convincing you that your head is not going to explode at any moment. Yah. They are. I bet you’re also wondering if days like that involve feeling like you’re screaming at the top of your lungs (in plain English of course) an answer that is so painstakingly obvious and clearly staring everyone in the face waving a huge red flag and sporting a Vegas-style sign blaring with absolute clarity like a beacon in the night but no one else can quite put their finger on it. Um… let me think. Yup, sure do. Usually, at some point in time during that last one everyone turns to look at you like, ‘Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?’ This is the part where the fork comes in handy—hold on… I’m almost there. It’s at that moment you realize that your sanity, to be completely frank, is teetering dangerously on the edge of that great black whole of common sense known as Corporate American Politics. You might attempt coming to terms with the fact that no matter how much you like your job or how much you sincerely enjoy having the opportunity to work with people you like being around—you must admit to yourself (and the entire world for it to really count) in an ‘alcoholics anonymous’ kind of way; “Hi. My name is George and I work for over-educated circus animals that make more money than I do but probably couldn’t do my job if their life depended on it.” Once you get it all out you realize after a short pause that the only sensible thing left to do is grab the fork and start digging… now what the heck did I do with that dang fork…

In the beginning... LOL

Where do you start with something like this? I've never been good about keeping tabs on my life. Things always seem to be happening before I really know what's going on... nothing in my life is slow. My mind is usually running at warp speed and my body quite often struggles to keep up. The funny part is that with all that I've been through in my life--it seems to work pretty well. My life is part chaos and part organization... more little more chaotic organization than organized chaos. :) The last time I moved it was more like a vacation I never came home from. Spontaneity is the premium grade fuel life should run on. Generally speaking it's the decisions that take a lot of time and serious thought that I have the hardest time with. I struggle to decide things for myself that could have an adverse effect on others... I hate the thought of causing pain in the life of someone I care about. So much so that it gets me in trouble more often that not. I tend to loose me exactly when I need me the most... if that makes any sense.